Sight.. hard to think of losing it. Couldn’t see my daughters faces, and this would be a terrible loss. Couldn’t recognize my friends and family. Couldn’t see Elijah’s blue eyes. Wouldn’t know about things like motion or distance or color.
I remember standing outside, watching the New Zealand sunrise slowly ascend over the mountains, setting them on glorious fire. I remember watching the moonlight caress the foothills when the sun went away. I remember misty fog over the rivers and the sight of the ocean. I couldn’t give up my sight.
Hearing… losing the sound of my girl’s voices. Losing music… the laughter of my children and my friends. Even the sound of my car’s engine roaring to life. Never to hear the sound of applause? Yes. I admit it. I love that sound. God, I’d miss hearing!
Touch.. my sense of touch. No. Won’t give that up. I’m such a tactile person. I have to touch. I have to hug. I have to know you through how you ‘feel’ to me. Let’s me know how close we can be. How intimate our relationship can become. The most meaningful moments of my life are those I’ve experienced while touching another human being. Holding my children for the first time. Making love to someone I adore. Even hugging fans. Each interaction matters. Each is important. I have to touch. It’s part of how I communicate.
Smell… but, don’t smell and taste go hand in hand? You’re gonna think I’m weird, but I’d hate to lose my sense of smell because it’s a way to sense when danger is near. When food is bad. When gas is leaking. But losing the taste of food would be hard too… though maybe not such a bad idea in my case.
Makes me think of Elijah. Holding him in my arms. Doing that most sacred scene up on Mt Ruapehu. Hearing his voice, rasping and faint, saying he couldn’t remember the taste of food or the feeling of water. That’s how Sam tried to invoke memories of the Shire for his Frodo. The smell of the flowers. The taste of strawberries. I felt that. That scene. I felt every emotion. Felt the wrenching sense of loss that good, gentle Frodo couldn't remember these things because of the evil he carried.. and how horribly WRONG that was.
I’m a very sensual creature, so the idea of giving up even one of my senses is almost frightening to me. They're such an important part of us. But, OK. I’ve decided. I’d give up taste. I’d do it for Sam. I’d do it for Frodo. I’d do it to honor their sacrifice. And... I'd do it to honor Elijah's performance in that scene. He deserves it.